“I’m sorry I left.” He almost whispers, his voice hoarse and laced with emotions. Looking at her, holding her son, their son, he knew a simple “sorry” wouldn’t be enough, he had screwed up big time.
When she looks up from the newborn in her arms her eyes convey that she is hurt and not quite convinced and he knows he deserves this look.
“Listen, when I went back” He needs a moment to sort his thoughts “when you told me about this pregnancy…” Once again he trails off because the words simply won’t come out right and he doesn’t know what to say to make this right, to heal her broken heart. “I was scared and with you still being in Israel…” His hair is already disheveled from the numerous times he had run
his hands through it but at the moment he couldn’t care less.
“Do you think I was not scared?” She questions him quietly as to not startle her son. “I was terrified Tony and you were not there.” The last words sound broken and are clearly accusing him of something he can’t possibly deny.
The pregnancy had been difficult and she had spent endless nights crying herself to sleep, knowing she was alone in this and afraid something could go wrong and her baby could be hurt. All those months she had wondered what she had done wrong to have to go through this all by herself, had wondered if her son would ever get to meet his father.
When he showed up at her doorstep it was a surprise and at first she was hesitant whether to let him in or not after all that had happened but she couldn’t possibly deny that she still wanted him in her life, their life.
“I’m sorry you had to go through this alone. I wish I would&rsquo
;ve been there.” By now his voice is incredibly small and he looks clearly ashamed of his actions and something tells her he really means it.
She takes a deep breath before looking at him again, her expression still serious. “I do not know how this” She looks at her son and back at Tony to emphasize her words “will work out Tony. But I believe that people deserve a second chance.” She falls silent and focuses on the almost sleeping baby resting against her stomach.
He knows he isn’t completely off the hook but for now he willingly accepts her reply and lets out a relieved sigh.
“I missed you Zi.” He whispers and for a brief moment his fingers graze the delicate skin of her arm.
She doesn’t directly replies to this but speaks up nevertheless. “He looks a lot like you, you know?” A small and fleeting smile appears on her lips before she looks down again.
“I think he has the beauty of
his mum.” He leans down to tenderly caress the cheeks of his son and it feels so overwhelming that he almost can’t take it.
“Charmer.” She chuckles ever so slightly before shifting closer to him. “Do you want to hold him?” Her question comes out reluctantly but she knew he has a right to get to know their son as well.
“I’d love to.” A smile forms on his face as he ever so gently cradles the newborn in his strong arms, watching as he yawns before looking up at the stranger that now holds him. After a moment the boy can’t be bothered anymore and falls asleep in his father’s arms and Tony is in a state of total bliss.
“You are right, that smile is typical DiNozzo.” He grins as his son smiles in his sleep and looks up at Ziva, waiting for her reaction.
“I am glad you came back.” She finally admits after composing her nerves and lets out another sigh before carefully leaning i
n so she’s resting against Tony’s shoulder.
“I’m glad as well. And I’m sorry Zi, I really am.” He watches as she momentarily closes her eyes and a peaceful look washes over her face and it makes him think that they could be ok again, even after all this time.